MARCH
Resolutions:
1. Send daily “love” texts
2. Track my appreciation
3. Turn towards
4. Ask for what I need
When developing my resolutions for March, I referred back to my Twelve Commandments. Revisiting these guiding values helped me craft resolutions that I think will make me happier in my marriage. Commandments like “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” “Be patient,” and “Ask for what you need” inspired these resolutions.
SEND DAILY “LOVE” TEXTS
This resolution was a great reminder that repeating a behavior will eventually lead to a habit. In this case, I have been making a habit of sending my husband a text message each morning when I arrive at work. Before I get out of my car, I take a second to fire off a quick note of appreciation or adoration. Here are some G-rated examples, “I love you! I hope you have a good day. xoxo” and “Thanks for the coffee and smoothie! You’re the best!”
TRACK MY APPRECIATION
At the beginning of the year, I found this great 99 cent journal at Target. I had seen a journal called “One line a day” and had the idea that I would write down one thing I was grateful for each day. This month I wrote one line a day about why I was grateful for my husband. It helped me turned my attention to all the little things that I often overlook when conflict arises.
TURN TOWARDS
According to relationship researcher John Gottman, PhD, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, people often make “bids” for their partner’s attention and affection. The couples who “turn toward” each other stay emotionally engaged and connected while those who turn away are more likely to divorce. An example of “turning towards” would be when one partner says, “It is suppose to rain tomorrow,” and the other partner responds, “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll be sure to bring my umbrella to work,” instead of ignoring the comment and thinking “who cares?”
ASK FOR WHAT I NEED
When I first heard this suggestion for improving marriage, I thought it sounded demanding and selfish. And then I realized that the alternative was NOT asking for what I need and expecting my husband to read my mind. This resolution has been a challenge because so often I’m not even aware that I HAVE a NEED.
One of my twelve commandments was “Ask for what I need.” This is the first resolution I have made that tests this commandment in my daily life.
Read more I’ve written about My Happiness Project Here:
My Happiness Project: Getting Started
My Happiness Project: New Years Resolutions
My Happiness Project: Saving Money (January)
My Happiness Project: Living Healthy (February)
